When a friend of mine posted this article about the negative comments women of color receive for their form fitting outfits it got me to thinking. I had this conversation JUST yesterday at work. Although I’m white, I have ass in ABUNDANCE, which now thanks to JLo and Beyonce (thank you sisters), we can celebrate. I’ve actually had co-workers, male and female, comment on how big my ass is. Wow really? Why do you care?! I’ve also had people comment that a dress I wore which was a regular office type dress “was sexy” and would get comments like “you gotta date?” No, but thanks for inquiring.
Women of color I’m sure are used to this kind of behavior as am I. Especially if you are a woman with large breasts you get unwanted comments all the time. Most of my life, my looks were sexualized. I received numerous comments on my “bedroom eyes” and my “DSLs” for those of you who aren’t aware that means dick sucking lips. Charming. Most women have these stories to tell however if you are a woman with curves and shape those comments can be downright crude and the view most men have of you is sexual. Now for most women in Western societies, the cat calls or crude gestures and looks are part of our everyday existence and for some women, it might even effect their ability to get a job if they are perceived as “too sexy.” However, for many women in the world the issue goes much deeper.
Now I have some amazing girlfriends of color and I have to say that walking around the city with them is an eye-opening experience unlike any other. I have never received so much attention as I do when I’m with them. Now I must admit, mostly men of color are the ones who are bold enough to approach them or stop in the street or just stand there licking their lips while looking at them or make some crude comment. Now as an older woman I don’t find this as cute as I might have when I was younger, I think it’s actually quite repulsive. But to be a beautiful woman is both a blessing and curse!
And no where is that idea more supported than with religion and the majority of the brains on this planet are filled with religious thoughts. Beauty has been the one thing that religion has focused on in keeping women in check and their main excuse as to why women need to cover up, to keep men in check. Check out the book Nine Parts of Desire by Geraldine Brooks which discusses the hidden world of Islamic Women. The name comes from the saying by Ali “God created sexual desire in 10 parts; then he gave nine parts to women and one to men.” William B. Quandt of Foreign Affairs wrote that in the view of Islamists, “Given women’s incredible sexuality, restrictions are needed to preserve the welfare and stability of society.”
Men have controlled women for thousands of years. They have created complex societal rules that we must follow in order to get what we need in life. Many male dominated religions try to make it seem like a compliment that women are relegated to the kitchen and the bedroom and why we aren’t even allowed to be leaders in the synagogues or mosques. When the argument of why women couldn’t be leaders in the synagogue the typical excuse was “women are already spiritual so you aren’t required to pray as much.” You do realize that you are basically saying “we men are dogs and need to keep our minds occupied with prayer and ritual or we’ll lose our damn minds!”
Judaism and Islam keep men and women separate so that the men can concentrate on their prayers. Christianity creates all sorts of rules that require women to act like nuns basically until they are needed by men, then they are objectified as whores which is where the whole whore/Madonna situation stems from. Seriously?! It’s 2016! What are you a fucking caveman? Are they really that sexually charged? Are they so mentally feeble that they can’t control the kick stands between their legs? When a society allows men to act without impunity you are creating a sick and imbalanced world.
It’s no surprise that when a group/country looks to create a more “religious” society that one of their first moves is to get their women under control by taking away their freedoms to wear and do what they want. That’s why the Taliban/ISIS/Al-Qaeda are seriously losing their shit, they recognize that many women in other societies are able to live their lives without being under the control of men and they don’t want that. They see that in many societies today, women work, play, raise children, travel, and have sex when they want without the permission of a father or husband or any male figure; and some of these brazen whores don’t even have husbands! OMG no. And if women have the freedom to what they want and can take care of themselves, they are less likely to put up with male bullshit. Then men will be challenged to up their game and do something different and quite honestly, it’s just easier to bully others than it is to change.
It’s way past fucking time for us to demand that men stop dragging their emotional and intellectual knuckles and EVOLVE. This may require that they pull their heads out their god’s ass and actually start thinking for themselves. I realize that religion makes things easier because someone else takes the ultimate responsibility and there are clear cut rules, and that the deck is stacked in favor of men, and it makes it easy for you when things don’t fit those rules you can condemn and judge; however, we are choking as a species under the thumb of religious thought and behavior.
Now I’m not trying to suggest that all men are bad, there are some absolutely wonderful shining examples of men out there. For those who aren’t, maybe the others could start educating them a bit. Think it might be time for a “Global Man Conference.” Get among yourselves and discuss.